Saturday, December 31, 2005

It's The Last Day of 2005 !!

So, last year of the year - a day of reflection and looking ahead. Is 2005 one of my favourite year? Hmm...same regular "circle" of friends, same kind of life, same kind of job, ....etc. Basically nothing much has changed. Hopefully in 2006, my life will be better, my job will be better, my interpersonal relationship with people will be better and most importantly a healtier me.

Though not really having the mood for the celebration, am joining friends for BBQ tonite. Enjoy...enjoy...I really must enjoy!!!

New Year's party, countdown party, thingy.... welcoming 2006!!




Friday, December 30, 2005

十二星座幸運許願法

牡羊座 
幸運許願法:將九朵雛菊,用紅繩結成串後朝東北方膜拜許願,匯集宇宙間的祝福,做起事來會更得心應手。  

金牛座  
幸運許願法:摘取四片鮮紅的玫瑰花瓣,放入熱水中,默念願望後喝下,在穿上然色衣服,讓美夢早日成真。  

雙子座  
幸運許願法:任選五根腳指頭,用藍筆分別劃過後,在面對九朵薔薇隨風許願,將有心想事成的驚喜效果。  

巨蟹座  
幸運許願法:收集三顆蛋殼和七粒黃豆,許願後將蛋殼置於水仙花盆中,黃豆於夜晚丟入往北流去的河中,可驅除惡運、帶來好心情。  

獅子座  
幸運許願法:每月逢三的日子裡,將八朵向日葵朝東南方擺置後許願,以加速聚集幸運指數,讓你事事如意。  

處女座  
幸運許願法:將三條深藍色手帕綁在藍色玻璃瓶外,許願後懸掛房門口三天,讓身上散發迷人光彩,好運跟著來。  

天秤座  
幸運許願法:手捧六張淡紫色的皺紋紙,默許願望後,再化火燒盡,灑向南方,幫助你的夢想實現更順遂。  

天蠍座  
幸運許願法:夏季裝滿一杯葡萄酒,加入兩塊冰塊,朝著夜空天蠍座最亮的紅星祈福後,一飲而盡,讓幸福飄然而至。  

射手座  
幸運許願法:手捧七朵百合,朝東北許願,將有無往不利神奇的效果。  

水瓶座  
幸運許願法:將願望寫在紙上,放入圓形的瓶中,再用七條綠色橡皮圈,束於瓶口,讓幸運將你團團圍住,常保容光煥發。

雙魚座 
幸運許願法:每天將一粒粉紅色鈕扣許願後放入鉛筆盒中,直到第七天後,珍藏七粒鈕扣,生活上的不順逐漸煙消雲散。

魔羯座
幸運許願法:找一個褐色的有蓋木盒,放入八根髮絲,朝西南方默念心中的願望,兩天後這褐色木盒將成為幸運護身符的聚寶盆。

Hmm.. wonder does it really work? But on second thought, no harm trying.

Thursday, December 29, 2005

La Chispa De La Vida ...


Hahaa...
Counting down ... 2 more hours to end the boring day ...

该接受自己的极限?

对自己的期望是否太高了。。。

凡事都尽量做到十全十美 。。。

但很多时候终还是会有攀不到的地方。。。

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Another boring day ...

Another boring day at work ... this is very unusual ... never been soooo free in my entire working life ... been listening to the same 10 songs from Perhaps Love ...again and again .... Just love the songs more and more each time I listen to them ;p

Browsing through http://gsmarena.com for mobile phones. My cutest (according to him) brother's birthday is next week (SO SOON!!!) and he has been asking for a new mobile phone (In fact, he asks for SE K750i!!!). Should I or should I not buy anything for him at all ...... Come to think of it, if I'm buying something for his birthday, then he should be buying something for me as well....if not, no present for him ... hehe ... should practise this ... ;p

counting down ... 1 more hour to 6pm ...

Things To Do When You're Bored

Top 20 Things To Do When You're Bored
  • Make Webpages
  • Create New Email Accounts
  • Attempt To Hack Into Friends Email Accounts
  • Send Cheesy E-Greetings
  • Find Free Stuff
  • Report Spammers
  • Write Meaningless Lists For Your Webpages
  • Attempt To Figure Out HTML
  • Join Activists Mailing Lists
  • Try To Block All The Spam From Your Email Inbox
  • Search For Yourself Online
  • Create New Identities
  • Download Junk
  • Try To Get Rid Of Viruses Recieved From Downloading Junk
  • Search For Free ROM's And Try Not To Get Any Porn Pop-up Windows
  • Enter Every Contest That's On A Banner
  • Play Every Free Lottery And Casino Game
  • Crash Internet Explorer
  • Crash Netscape (I know...it's a challenge! Yeah...that's it....)
  • Take Cheesy Surveys

My TOP and ONLY favourite thing to do when I'm bored ---> listening to songs!!

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Boring ...

Holiday mood still ... seeing Xmas decorations in the office ... However, there is not much of people in the office ... most people are taking annual leaves post Xmas ... how envy :(

BORING!!! BORING!!! BORING!!! Been listening to songs (and doing nothing else) since morning ...

Counting down to 6pm ... 1 more hour to go ...

人生蒙太奇

时间已经到了 场景已经搭了

摄影棚也亮了 大门打开了

服装已选定了 嗓门也拉开了

节奏也配合了 两手准备了

拍 过去从前 拍 爱恨交缠

拍 重重恩怨 悲欢离合戏一场

短 不过一瞬 长 不过永远

留在天上人间

现在有多近 回忆有多远

回忆有多重 现在有多倦

现在没有爱 回忆往哪里伸延

甚么爱情故事 可以填饱肚子

谁会给这故事 最显明位置

如果爱情故事 总是来之不易

谁让爱情故事 像黑板的字

刷 过去从前 刷 爱恨交缠

刷 重重恩怨 悲欢离合戏一场

短 不过一瞬 长 不过永远

甚么天上人间

这个爱情故事 忘了爱情故事

留住爱情故事 这个爱情故事

忘了爱情故事 留住爱情故事

现在有多近 回忆有多远

回忆有多重 现在有多倦

现在没有爱 回忆往哪里伸延

现在有多近 回忆有多远

回忆有多重 现在有多倦

现在没有爱 回忆往哪里伸延

一切是过眼云烟

another nice song from Perhaps Love ... ;)

美丽故事

他曾經有一個愛情故事

少年時情濃時 說來也甜蜜

他們曾是一對青梅竹馬

男的歡 女的愛 好令人妒忌

然後女主角遺失了回憶

開頭是難忘 結局是忘記

失去的 多迴腸蕩氣

記不記得也是福氣

男的擁有美麗回憶

那女的幸福在不懂歎息

他曾經有一個傷感故事

得不到 大團圓 才死心塌地

火熬的愛情只出於暫時

又何必 固執於 偶然的事

忘了吧忘了吧愛情故事

不如醉生夢死一無所知

再提起再提起無補於事

知道了又怎樣重新開始

我曾經有一個愛情故事

我開始懷疑它 是否真實

Been listening to this song since morning ... what a way to pass my free time in office ...

Monday, December 26, 2005

Capricorn's Career in 2006

2006 is a great time for you to go public, even if you'd rather just get on with the day-to-day tasks of building your business and career. Try to absorb the lesson that the heavens will bring in March: that anyone, on any level, can benefit from a little public exposure. Your career horizons will expand quickly and dramatically if you follow up on this, and your teammates and customers will profit from their connection to you. Don't worry too much about artificially creating media opportunities -- they will create themselves when you're around.


You've got a well-deserved reputation for working hard and playing by the rules, so don't be surprised if folks at all levels of your organization take time out to praise you and ask for advice on all manner of topics. Give freely of yourself, but make sure you've got time to keep pushing on your own work. The more you interact with your colleagues, the closer you will get to your next career milestone, so don't close that door unless you're on deadline. Practice accepting compliments with aplomb, as they'll be coming whether you're ready or not.


Your personal life will realign itself for the better early in the year, and that will certainly help you get your job done during the day. Simultaneously, you will either be recruited or find a new job opportunity that might be too sweet to pass up. You won't feel like playing both sides against each other, but your sense of fairness will require that you keep things out in the open. From late spring through the summer, you should be extremely happy with whatever decision you reach, and even after that you'll know that you did the right thing. Toward the end of the year, you'll be able to coast a little and enjoy some personal time to do whatever interests you most -- working in the community, bonding with family or even building up your job skills.

Sunday, December 25, 2005

Capricorn in 2006

OVERVIEW: With Saturn -- heavenly purveyor of many sought-after qualities like integrity, responsibility and discipline -- as your ruler, you're an inspiration to everyone around you. So whether your current companion is by your side for platonic, professional or romantic reasons this year won't really matter. They'll just be proud to be with you. And while you're not ordinarily fond of the spotlight, you'd better try to get used to it, because it will be just about impossible to avoid. In fact, the attention, admiration and applause of the masses will be around every corner for you this year -- and it's your own darned fault.

You began working hard to achieve your professional goals (especially that reputation for fairness and benevolence) around late summer 2005. The response from coworkers and higher-ups has been terrific ever since, but don't forget that all this has happened for one reason: because you've put in the time and effort to make it happen. But 2005 was really just practice -- 2006 is your year to shine. Don't you dare try to avoid the accolades!

In other news, you'll also have plenty of romantic opportunities to pursue this year. You're due to meet someone -- or finally notice someone -- in January or February. This particular someone will be entertaining, magnetic and spontaneous enough to keep you interested for a good long time. (It's a good thing, too, because you're definitely not in the mood for games.) If you're happily attached, keeping it that way won't be tough at all, especially from April through August. You and your sweetie will probably be getting along so well, in fact, that you may temporarily disappear from your social circle's 'active' list. Oh well. It's good to hibernate every now and then -- especially when puttering around together in your PJs sounds far better than taking a chauffeured limo ride to the opera. All in all, life will be good, thanks to your number one squeeze -- and you've certainly earned it. Kick back and enjoy the fruits of your labor and the company of your loved ones. Then, with your unselfish motives intact, get out there and spread your blessings around!

如果 爱

每个人都想明白
谁是自己生命不该错过的真爱
特别在午夜醒来更是会感慨
心动埋怨还有不能释怀
都是因为你触碰了爱
如果这就是爱
再转身就该勇敢留下来
就算受伤 就算流泪
都是生命里温柔灌溉
哦爱~~在回忆里总是那么明白
困惑的心 流过的泪
还有数不清黑夜等待
如果这就是爱

如果你当时明白
后来的生命里是快乐还是悲哀
特别在夜深人静时想起未来
是否能平静不会想现在
只是因为你拥有了爱
如果这就是爱
再转身就该勇敢留下来
就算受伤 就算流泪
都是生命里温柔灌溉

哦爱~~在回忆里总是那么明白
困惑的心 流过的泪
还有数不清黑夜等待
如果这就是爱
如果这就是爱

a nice song from Perhaps Love ...

Christmas Eve

There goes my Christmas Eve ...

No celebration, no countdown, no parties ...
Unlike previous years where would always hang out with friends till early morning Christmas... Mood has not been good lately, don't want to spoil the mood of others by joining them.

Been listening to the same song whole night ...

Friday, December 23, 2005

Burdened by Pain

When I think of the pain, sorrow, and confusion brought into my life I cry.
My tears are a waterfall that floods the ground
They drown all the life out of me.
The only thing they don’t drown away is the sorrow that plagues me.
My heart is full of pain
A pain pierces it so, with the pain like a knife.
A knife stabbed in my back and through my heart
The pain is unbearable and can only be ended by the end to life
A burden weighs my soul
A burden with the weight equal to the world
The burden pushes me down as so never to get up again
The burden is to heavy for anyone to lift, whether the person be divine or mortal
The burden weighs me down, down, down and will eventually bring me down to my grave

Shattered Dreams

The winds of change blow through the sky
The shadows join the dance of night
Visions of the past run through my head
Words meant to be told remain unsaid
And though my heart gives in to fear
Your touch of love still draws me near
Only You can rescue me
From the life I want that can never be
Your love keeps me strong
Keeps me holding on
Without it I just can't go on
Only time will prove our faith
All that I've been through
Has brought me close to you
You're all I need to save my
Shattered Dreams


...If there were never any dreams, how would they be shattered ...

Thursday, December 22, 2005

...

Find that I can't seem to get along nicely with people ... My god...my communication problem has been getting worse and worse ... Can't remember since when this has started to become so serious ...

Dun feel like talking ...
Dun feel like living ...
Dun feel like doing anything ...
忧郁症 perhaps?? Hope not...

How can I let this happening to me??!!

Who Am I ?

Who am I? They often tell me
I stepped from my cell’s confinement
Calmly, cheerfully, firmly,
Like a squire from his country-house.
Who am I? They often tell me
I used to speak to my warders
Freely and friendly and clearly,
As though it were mine to command.
Who am I? They also tell me
I bore the days of misfortune
Equally, smilingly, proudly,
Like one accustomed to win.

Am I then really all that which other men tell of?
Or am I only what I myself know of myself?
Restless and longing and sick, like a bird in a cage,
Struggling for breath, as though hands were
compressing my throat,
Yearning for colors, for flowers, for the voices of birds,
Thirsting for words of kindness, for neighborliness,
Tossing in expectation of great events,
Powerlessly trembling for friends at an infinite distance,
Weary and empty at praying, at thinking, at making,
Faint, and ready to say farewell to it all?

Who am I? This or the other?
Am I one person today and tomorrow another?
Am I both at once? A hypocrite before others,
And before myself a contemptibly woebegone weakling?
Or is something within me still like a beaten army,
Fleeing in disorder from victory already achieved?
Who am I? They mock me, these lonely questions of mine.
Whoever I am, Thou knowest, 0 God, I am Thine!

~Dietrich Bonhoeffer~

We use the word 'I ' a number of times a day, but we have never tried to think what is the real meaning of this word. What does this word I' signify ??

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Hatred ....

Got to know that my father's "precious daughter" is getting married ... and my father is so happy about it. I HATE HER SO MUCH!!!! I HATE HER! I HATE HER! I HATE HER!

I get agitated when I think about her and it gets worse when I am in her presence. Have not heard about her for years .... Her and her two brothers ... To me, they don't exist. Can't they just get out of my life !! She has her own life...why must she come and bother ours ... She is the reason my father hates me so much ... I'm treated unfairly because of her ... I never got what I wanted because of her ... She hasn't had to work hard to get what she wants ... Everything works easily and nicely for her... She gets everything she wants ... She should go through what I have ...

Now that she is getting married soon ... I believe my father will again supporting her fully and financially... something that I will never dream of getting in my entire life ....

I do not hate people easily. In fact, I find it hard to hate someone BUT how can I ever let go of my hatred ... NO! NEVER! After what I have gone through ... NEVER!

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Dreams ...

On average, eveyone sleeps for a third of each day. Everyone who sleeps - dreams. Imagine if one is 30 years old, one could have dreamed for 10 YEARS! Dreams have been so mysterious to all. Why do we dream? How do we remember and interpret dreams? How do we figure out what our dreams mean? Are dreams projectons? Does dream bring messages? Or does dream manifest into a different dimension ? Can we control and alter events in my dreamtime? Are dreams windows into worlds beyond the ordinary?

Hardly dream. Hardly able to sleep. It would be good if I can just lie down and sleep. Have a sweet dream and start a new day...Oh no, I must be dreaming!! Don't even feel sleepy , though it's already 2:05am now. Wonder what else can be done to make me feel sleepy ... Drinking milk? hehe ... drinking fresh milk makes me even fresher ... sigh ...

Sunday, December 11, 2005

Innocent? .. Not really..



Couldn't find my shoes for few days..thought I have misplaced it somewhere. Found it today and OMG!! One of my dogs has torn it into pieces....!!!!! Well, not actually "my" dog coz they never really like me, neither do I. Not that I don't like them but I have been chased by them ( 4 of them!!) for too many times that I'm scared of dogs..hehe.. Just imagine my own dogs chasing and barking at me...haih..

It look soooo cute and innocent but how could it .....

Thursday, December 08, 2005

There ends my honeymoon week ...

Bad news! My director will be in Penang tomorrow!! Oh no, there goes my honeymoon week... Well, one thing good about being in client's site is that I'm not under any supervision of my superiors.. which is more of a independent job. Though have been going thru my working days freely and easily for the past 1 week, did not actually enjoy it .. No mood to enjoy...just no mood to do anything...Did I make the right decision by joining this company? Both previous company H and current company E are competitors. H lost the client D and E got the business of client D and offered me the job. Because of H losing the client, a lot of my ex-colleagues are still unemployed and I'M JOINING E!! Feel quite guilty as I'm now with the company that caused them to lose job ... ... Prior to joining H, I have already known colleagues/director from E. OMG! The relationships are sooo complicated! Furthermore, it's kind of weird working with the same high and mighty clients but under different payroll. Hoping I have made the right choice ..

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

No Mood

No mood to eat
No mood to work
No mood to ...
No mood for everything....

将来が心配で寝られない日が続いた。

Sunday, December 04, 2005

Relaxing Weekend ... but Monday again!!

A reunion with uni mates today and most of them are still doing their masters. How nice ... to still be able to enjoy campus life and out of the stressful working life ... hmm ..maybe I should go back for masters?? Lecturer used to encourage us to do masters right after degree coz most would tend to cancel furthering study plans once start earning ... well, he's right. Who can resist the temptation of $$$ ...

Was again surprised by a friend's client today when was asked if I'm from Nepal!!! Oh, not again! No idea at all how they can ask such question ... This is the 2nd person asking me this question. I don't even know anyone from Nepal or have any idea on how the people are supposed to look like ...

Anyway, a relaxing but boring weekend. Boring coz I used to work on work stuff at home during weekends. Relaxing weekend without work stuff at all coz laptop is kept in the office ;p Don't intend to bring laptop back home anymore unless really really necessary...but that also means I have to share the pc with my bro/sis lor...

Monday again =( and time for McD trip!

adopt your own virtual pet!